Wednesday, April 17, 2013

I'm too young for this!

Recently I have found a new blog to follow, and have been enjoying it quite a bit.  A mom is using it as her way to talk to the world, but still maintain some anonymity.  Recently she wrote a post about having a procedure in her late 20's, that most people don't have until 50.  While reading it, I felt that it was unfortunate, but good that she got it done if she needed it.  Plus she put a funny spin on it, which makes it enjoyable to read (especially when others are going through similar things).

So this brings me to my blog post today... oh the fun things I am about to type.  The lovely embarrassing information that you will soon read.  I use the phrase "omg" a lot in this post, because those are the words I would often say to Joshua, when he would ask what was wrong.  *sigh*

One word.
Months of increasing agony.
Hemorrhoids.

I got one, one single little tiny lump, when I was pregnant.  I asked my doctor about it, and she told me it would probably go away after I had the baby.  It didn't.  But it was so tiny, it was pretty much unnoticeable and I guess I just didn't notice it enough to care about it.  I had a new baby, and it was a very busy year.  That was 2011.  Around November of 2012 I got another one :( It still wasn't a big enough deal for me to go in to see anyone about it, I just dealt with it, and basically ignored it.  I took more care to add fiber into my diet (good thing I love broccoli and apple juice!) and it all seemed in order... but only for a little while.  Fast forward to March 2013.  Pain, burning, bleeding, and omg the itching.  Yes, I said it, I admit it!  I have woken up in the middle of the night to find myself scratching like I had a million dollar lotto ticket and a quarter in my fingers.  I can not even describe the itchyness.  You can not understand!  It isn't like a guy who has itchy balls, or like a mosquito bite... it is just, omg.  That is all I can say.  OMG.  <--- right there, only description.  

It took me about a month to finally get insurance switched over to the hospital my daughter goes to.  I haven't had a need to see a physician since we moved here, so I did not have one yet.  Mine was still 3 hours South.  Finally booked an appt. for a Wednesday morning.  That day came... and about 40 minutes before we would be there (we were about to walk out the door, my 19 month old and myself) we get a call saying the appt. was cancelled.  :'( I literally started crying on the phone.  That is how bad it was.  That is how miserable I have been.  Almost 5 months of increasing discomfort.  I know I should have gone sooner, but I have this complex about going to the hospital.  I always feel like I am making a big deal about nothing when it comes to my health.  I don't want to waste their time or waste money.  If it is Joshua or our daughter, I am there, but with me... I would rather not.  So sobbing on the phone as the rude woman tells me that someone made a mistake and there was no appt. at that time available.  When I was crying, saying I understood and to please just make me a new appt. she actually chose to talk really loudly over me, and SHE sounded annoyed.  Psssht.  Anyway, I got an appt. for the following Wednesday (today!) and I was okay again.  It sucked waiting another week, but today finally arrived!

I went in, and finally got some help.  Unfortunately it was not what I had hoped for.  I am told I will just always have them.  They won't shrink away, or go away, or anything :( but I did get two different sets of pills, a special cream with steroids, and I got put on a special diet.  I am not allowed to eat citrusy foods or anything spicy.  I am 24 years old... what the fuck?!  I am not old enough to be put on a special diet.  I am not old enough to have to take a pill every single day, and then another pill and cream whenever a problem flares up.  This is not cool!  I go back for a follow up in 2 weeks, and if these things haven't helped get rid of the symptoms, I get to talk to a specialist and discuss surgery.  SURGERY?!  How can something seem so insignificant, and small, be something that causes such huge problems.  Ugh.  Joshua laughed when I told him I was put on a special diet forever, until I told him what it was.  We are both in mourning.  I could eat jalapeno poppers every single day.  I already do drink orange juice all the time.  I am that crazy person at restaurants who wants a bowl of lemons, and just eats the lemons instead of squeezing the juice in my beverage.  I did find a loophole though :D

The pharmacist at my grocery store has become my new best friend.  He has helped me quite a few times recently.  He helped me find Evee an age appropriate multi-vitamin after a doctor recommended she have one.  Next he helped me find her some allergy medicine that wouldn't make her sleepy and would be okay for her weight and age.  He is my hero now, so of course I went to him when looking for my new daily stool softener (omg I can't believe I just typed that sentence).  He remembered me, and we had discussed my upcoming appt. on a previous visit because I was curious if there was a product I hadn't tried yet.  Before making the doctors appt. I had tried witchhazel in a bath tub, on a pad, tucks wipes, preparation H., some pill that I can't remember its name, and an anal cream that you actually insert inside you.  None of those things helped.  He told me they would probably give me a cream with steroids in it.  Yep, that is what I got.  He asked me how the appt. went, and I told him about the worst part (my new diet).  He told me I can still rock my OJ or lemon wedges (etc) once in a while, but I should eat a couple Tums afterwards so it doesn't bother anything too much.  He also taught me some things about my intestines that I didn't know.  I love learning! :)

So today was a sucky day when you think of the 2 hours at the doctors office (mostly spent waiting), the insane thunderstorm we had on the way home, the toddler freak outs, and my new regime.  However, I got home at the same time Joshua did, so we walked in together under an umbrella :) We had pizza for the first time in a long time, and the 3 of us watched Rio for the first time (extremely cute movie!).

This is probably the most embarrassing post I will ever write.  So I decided to Google some funny pictures or memes about it :)

Oh, and one last thing! I got myself a bag of chocolate peanut butter bugles today!  I figure it is the least I owe myself after having not one, but two different peoples fingers up my ass today, while trying to hold a toddler on a table next to me, who ends up dangling off the edge... yes, you read that right.  People probing my butt, while I am laying on my side, while my daughter (who was at one point just sitting by me) decides to leap off the edge, so I am holding her by her arms... It was a long day.  Enjoy the funny pictures!









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